Hello. I am writing this blog in adjunct to therapy. I am honest, very sarcastic, I swear, and sometimes I write posts that may be triggering, but I will always have a warning.

From toddler-time until the age of 28 I was sexually and physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused. The verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse continues to this day. I know that sounds like a hell of a lot, but those are the only words I have for what happened. My abusers are still alive and continue to try and maintain some contact, but I am working to end any contact at all (please see 11/29/2010 entry). Some people simply should not have children. I don’t want to know why, but I do need to know how to fix my fucked-up life thanks to those bastards.

In March I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder and this is making things more difficult in the short term.

For 26 years I have been in and out of therapy. I am trying to stick with it and do my best to heal as much as I can for myself and my family. It sucks, and it’s hell, but I know I will come out the other side a healthy and more complete person. That’s the plan, anyway.

15 Responses to “About Rose”

  1. roseroars Says:

    This may be triggering, and it certainly does not pertain to everyone who has DID/MPD, but it’s a powerful and insightful, honest short film (fiction) about DID/MPD. I don’t know why it was made, I just know I cried fitfully for an hour or so after I watched it. No sexual references, nudity, swearing, or backstory. Here goes:

    • I love this video, It really helped me explain and show as close as I could what it felt like for us.

      • roseroars Says:

        Thanks! I’m not even sure why he made this film, but I feel he must know someone who has DID/MPD. Earlier this year I tried to find more information about it, but had very little luck. I thought, like you, that it’s a very close approximation to what happens inside with some people.

  2. I simply cannot tell you how pleased I am to meet you. I have much catching up to do.

    Thank you so much for your kindness.

  3. Nansie Says:

    I am checking out your blog and can’t wait to catch up. Hope you check out mine too. I met you on mindparts and wanted to follow up. Great comment you left for me there and I feel and instant connection. Just reading your “about” section is so similar to me. I look forward to knowing you!

  4. Nansie Says:

    How long have you been doing your blog? So much info and work has been put into it….very nice.

    • roseroars Says:

      Thank you. Earlier this year I needed to change my username and move the blog, and I think it’s been about one year I have been blogging on this subject. This community is the most informative, supportive, and intelligent group ever. If you have a chance check out my blogroll links.

      • Nansie Says:

        I’ll spend more time here and get more familiar but wanted to let you know that this is incredible work you have done! πŸ™‚

  5. I show everyone this video clip, because it gives them a very very small idea what it is like. I play it really loud too. To a cpn I met who told me I could not have DID/MPD because I was not American. So I put it on with Ear phones and got her to read out loud from a book and carry on talking to me at the same time. She FAILED lol no suprise I know, but she did break down and cry and say sorry.

    • roseroars Says:

      Wow. I hope that cpn paid you that day!

      I think it’s interesting about the incidence of DID/MPD in the American population. There have been only a few studies done elsewhere, so YEAH! I’m sure if studies were done in Africa, Serbia, China, etc., they would find a greater worldwide percentage.

  6. Grainne Says:

    Lisa – was trying to comment on your post surgery post but couldn’t…maybe new format?
    Just wanted you to know I was here, reading along with you. I’m glad surgery is over and that the alters seem happy about the changes. It will take sometime to heal in all ways. xx
    My mom is soooo much like yours. The only difference, I think, is that mine doesn’t bother emailing me crap from her fanatsy land anymore.

    *big hugs for you* Take care of yourself. xx

    • roseroars Says:

      Yeah, yeah……I go away for a bit and WordPress changes stuff behind my back. Sorry!

      A lot of our moms are similar. Kinda creepy… I’m happy she doesn’t bother you anymore and I’m looking forward to that time myself.

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