Post-Surgery Post That I’m Posting

June 13, 2011

I planned on my hysterectomy last Tuesday to be a great big deal, inside and out. In the end the host was the one that had any issues. The alters handled it brilliantly. The host wants everyone to understand that this was a major surgery and we should be worrying about it more, but the alters are glad it’s over, happy about the changes the surgery will bring, and ready to move on. The host wanted all of us to be terribly upset about losing our girly parts, but everyone inside felt nothing but relief.

Maybe the host feels that this is probably the last surgery so we need to milk it. I don’t get much support after I have surgery around here, although the family is doing really well this time.

DID isn’t an issue at the moment. Neither are flashbacks. I’m having recurring nightmares, though, of an area I’ve dreamed of for years, and the medicine isn’t helping, so I’m going to stop taking it. One less pill. I also stopped taking Nexium because long-term studies show that over time it can lead to increased anxiety, racing thoughts, and rapid heartbeat, which is what was happening the past several months. Since I stopped taking it I haven’t had a problem with that and I just need to tweak my diet a little.

School ends this week which means cutting back on therapy and rearranging my daily schedule.

My mother continues to send me annoying emails like this from June 11th:
“Good morning Lisa,

How are you doing?
The girls should be finishing school some time this month, right? Didn’t (daughter) say she was playing softball this summer? I bet they are looking forward to a fun summer. Hopefully it will be a little less hectic for you.
Margaret is coming in from Montana today and Theresa is having a family picnic tomorrow. Margaret has been coming home a lot, I think it’s because Iona is getting older and she wants to see her as much as she can. Iona will be 98yrs old this November. Iona refuses to use a cane or walker and she falls a lot but she will not gives in. She is an amazing woman.
I was thinking a lot about you last week when I was weeding the garden. I was over by the English rock garden you made when you were with us. Right now it is full of your grandpa’s lilies. And a couple of days ago we had to trim your heather bush, it is getting fairly big. The yucca plants are growing good, especially the one in the front yard. Who was it that gave you the yucca plants, for some reason I thought it was someone you met at… college. All but 2 of them are flowering now.
Did you plant your vegetable garden yet? The only vegetables we have is an upside down tomato plant on the patio. I hope it works. We have a lot of flowering buds on it right now.
Did you lose any trees from all the storms. Our neighbor next door had 2 tree limbs fall on the house 2 days ago.
The nurse I broke in a little over a year ago quit and now they are looking again. I still only work a couple days a week.
Your dad is doing well with his health.
Well, I have to go, hope all is well with you and hope (hubby) and kids are doing good.
Miss you and love you, Mom”

I do not speak to this woman (it’s been over one year since I’ve spoken with my parents on the phone), and it’s been several years since I’ve had any contact with the people she mentions. She lives in an imaginary world where we have some kind of relationship. It helps me to post her emails and know that they are out there for anyone to see. Oh well.

It’s quiet inside, which spooks me a little. I made it through the surgery, though, and I thought I wouldn’t. When I opened my eyes in the recovery room they had already put my glasses on and tucked the stuffed animal I brought with me (my oldest daughter made it for me) under my arm. That was cool.

I’m okay today so I’m going to test myself and go shopping. First groceries and then to the video game/movie store to pick up the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. With my trusty tummy binder and knowing that I still have some Percocet left for pain I will be invincible!

See ya round!

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5 Responses to “Post-Surgery Post That I’m Posting”

  1. kate1975 Says:

    Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for the update. I’m glad that the surgery caused so little upset in the system.

    Your mom, yeah, she’s a nutjob.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

  2. roseroars Says:

    Often after I post my mother sends me a personal email. here is today’s:

    “Hi honey,

    Your not going to believe this, when I got home from work last night, we were sitting out on the deck and I saw a shadow at the end of the walkway in the back and I looked up and staring at me was a beautiful doe and we just stared at each other, she was beautiful. Then when we stood up, she went up the hill across and into the woods at the top of the hill. That was a first.

    Love ya, mom”

    I also believe she may be reading my blog, which is okay with me. What gets me, however, is that she caused a great deal of the damage to my psyche that I am working so hard to repair, and apparently she feels it’s okay to continue to abuse me. She is nearly 70 years old, pretends to be a devout catholic, yet keeps trying to harm. I just like to keep posting her emails, too. I know I’m not alone and that many people can relate to having mothers like her.

  3. dottylizzy Says:

    Hi Rose,
    I’m glad the surgery went so well physically and that all of you didn’t get too massively upset.
    I hope the shopping trip went well!
    Yeah, I can identify with the annoying emails with the mother!! I don’t know why they choose to put themselves and us through it. No guilt?!? Keep on posting the emails as it helps – speaking out loud is sometimes the most freeing thing to do.
    Where you at any stage in the position where ou just weren’t sure wether or not your mother knew? Like, I always knew she knew about what *she* did to me, but did you ever wonder if she knew about what else was going on? It would be really helpful to hear your thoughts.
    Big hugs and healing thoughts.


  4. So glad the surgery went well! Your mother renders me speechless at times, and yet I can relate in certain ways too. Keep posting those emails since it helps you. And speaking of posting, the title of this post made me chuckle.

    Take good care of yourself as you recover from the surgery!

    Michelle


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