Trouble with Techniques

May 27, 2010

My Super Coping Techniques Extraordinaire (SCTE) have not been working as of late. A logical part of me says, “Duh. That’s why you can’t sleep well and you don’t stop moving or working.”. Yesterday was Therapy Day (TD) and we went over my inability to calm down, relax, sleep, eat, etc., and she had some good, obvious (to anyone but me) ideas.

* Try different imagery or coping strategies when the others are not working. An example of one is visualizing a funnel to carry away, diminish, or channel intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, etc.

* Think of food as fuel. When I don’t eat my parts will break down, wear out, fail, or become exhausted.

* Create a relaxation room inside and ask the others to be quiet. I tried this last night and it did not work. The response I got was, “You’re just another alter like us, so why should we listen to you?”. Daft bastards. When I get my hands on them………..

* Visualize creating a toolbox with tools to help me cope, eat, rest, chastise rebellious alters, etc.

I thought these were good ideas. That’s why she makes the big bucks. Since Wednesday I have tried to implement some of these with little success. I’m not sure if I’m at some weird point inside and need to take care of something else first, or if I’m too damn tired. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.


11 Responses to “Trouble with Techniques”

  1. Lothlorien Says:

    Wish I had more, but I don’t have much. I know, for me, listening to relaxing music helps a lot. Your therapist has given you some good ideas. I like the tornado one for intrusive thoughts. I will have to try that one. Be easy on yourself when it comes to learning and practicing these skills. Over the years, I have accumulated a ton of coping skills, but lots of times when things get dark and scary inside, I suddenly become “stupid” and can;t think of a single one. My therapist used to suggest I write some down and post it on the frig, but when I’m in crisis, I don’t even remember I HAVE a refrigerator. LOL

    Keep trying. There are lots of coping skills you could try, and it is sort of a hit and miss, trial and error kind of thing to figure out what works for you in what kinds of times. You will get it.

    • roseroars Says:

      Thanks! I do have a bit of relaxing music on my MP3 player, and I really recommend this site for excellent relaxing music, nature sounds and tonal music:

      There is an index card on our refrigerator, but I always forget it’s there…

      I really believed that once I found some good techniques that would be that. Just ONE time I would like to be right. Grrr…

  2. Bee Says:

    Oh I so understand! It’s like I find one thing that works and then after a while it just doesn’t work anymore… Me and my splits are constantly revising and changing things to fit our most current state. It gets frustrating at times but it’s what needs to be done I guess.
    My T always seems to come up with the obvious things/ideas and sometimes I am just so amazed that I didn’t come up with some of the ideas…!
    I liked your comment “You’re just another alter like us, so why should we listen to you?”. Daft bastards. When I get my hands on them………..” I felt this way for years until I started becoming friends with my alters. Now I have a level of respect (with most of them at least) so when I ask them if we can try something, they will do it – unless they think it will be harmful to me, them or the system.
    I hope these things work out for you!


    • roseroars Says:

      Yes, it is frustrating! One thing should work, one ring to rule them all, no exceptions!

      Do you feel stupid when the obvious is pointed out to you in therapy?

      It’s good to read that you are friends with your alters. Mine are behaving in a less than stellar fashion. I am so tired this week of everyone’s crap and I just want them to go away.

      Thanks for your comment! Things had better work out soon…

      • Bee Says:

        Yes, I do feel stupid when the obvious is pointed out to me in therapy. My T always is telling me how smart I am and that she is always amazed by how fast I learn and how much I know and can comprehend. But every time she has a suggestion that screams OBVIOUS!! I feel beyond stupid. Not a good feeling… But I love that I have someone who can point out the obvious to me.

  3. I might be off the mark, but it sounds a bit like you are trying to control your parts, even when using your skills, you seem to want them to just stop doing whatever they are doing. Perhaps you could try asking them what they want? I definitely agree with the making friends plan and I also struggle with it. I find that my parts can get quite angry and pushy with me when I try to ignore them and sometimes I use skills to try to quiet them, but they just want to be heard. Pushing them away seems to make them just push harder. If it’s not a good time to let them be, it might help to acknowledge their need to express and make a suitable time for them. Don’t know if this is what is going on or not, but maybe it will help?? Take care,


    • roseroars Says:

      I think you’re right. It would be nice to have some quiet time inside and I’m going about it the wrong way by trying to control them rather than work with them. Thank you!

  4. Meredith Says:

    Run away! Run away!
    (Or invite the others to run away for awhile…)

    I got nothin’.

  5. castorgirl Says:

    I’m with Dawn on this one… I’ve tried the “hey I’m in charge routine, so listen up”… Yeah, didn’t work so well. I’ve found if I push, they’ll push back 20x harder… It becomes like a mini-war in my head. Just reading the line “chastise rebellious alters” was enough to set off a reaction with some of the ones in my head…

    Sometimes I’ve found having internal conversations, negotiation, creation of safe/comforting places, etc helpful. But sometimes it all turns to custard and I lose time and all the dysfunctional stuff happens.

    I also carry a stuffed toy of some kind with me always – my keyring has a stuffed crocodile on it. I do the music thing too, as well as art – especially with oil pastels for the tactile part of blending the colours in.

    I know it’s difficult… Try to go gently.

    • roseroars Says:

      I’m being much more humble than I was, but that seems to signal “March on Memories!” and they are everywhere, no matter what I’m doing. Sometimes it’s hard to control, and yesterday I realized I actually switched while out with hubby. He thought I was just being goofy, but she was only about 12 years old, and had a great time shopping for video games, comics, and eating out. I was in the back seat again.

      Your stuffed toy idea is a good one. I’m going to steal one of the girl’s today.

      Thank you!

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